December 07, 2005

you ever feel like your friends have forgotten you?
i mean, you guys come here and leave me lovely notes. and i greatly appreciate it. i love reading your comments specially when i'm having a hard time at work (and these days, it's almost a given that i'm having a hard time at work...).

but i wonder sometimes if my friends have forgotten me... i mean, besides kat and trish, i really have not heard from anyone else. maybe i'm part to blame coz lately i haven't picked up the phone and reached out to them myself. but usually, i'm the one doing that. but once in awhile, i want my friends to check up on me.

specially these days...

sorry - just turning into a big self-centered whiner.



December 04, 2005

il mio idilio con italia
we went to italy during thanksgiving week. if you know what my past three months have been, you'll agree with me when i say that i deserve this break. i took tons of pics (forgive me as i still don't know how to use this camera - some of the pics came out grainy as i play around with the functions...) you can view my pics HERE. afterwards, if you want to know what we did on a day-to-day basis, go to kat's site where she has a recap of the whole trip.

click here for more pictures...

November 09, 2005

ernesto avila
July 26 1938 - November 6, 2005

he was ‘darling’ to ninang zeny.
‘Pa’ or ‘Stu’ to kuya erwin.
‘kuya ernie’ to most of you.
but to me and my siblings, he is uncle ernie. or just plain ‘uncle’.

some of my childhood memories that include uncle i share with my siblings. i remember how he used to load all three of us on his tiny motorcycle. rodel would be sitting on the gas tank in front, while madonna sat behind uncle, holding on to his round belly, and i would be sitting at the edge of the seat, holding on to dear life. and then we would drive through traffic in makati. as if the motorcycle ride wasn’t a treat in itself, sometimes we would stop by an ice cream parlor and he would buy us each a cone. i think we eventually out grew the thrill of riding on uncle’s bike. but those days were definitely good times.

almost seven years ago during my surprise graduation party i remember how he told me how proud he was of me because i worked two jobs to put myself through college. he said ‘yang mga bata na yan, talagang magagaling!’. he was referring to me and my brother and sister. he always had kind words for us. he always made me smile because he says mukha daw kaming artista. even on our bad days he would tell us how good we looked. maybe that’s why he’s one of our favorite uncles.

i have always shared his passion for art. whenever i was in queens and he had a new painting, he would show it to me and i was left in awe because each painting seemed so personal to him. he was proud of his work but at the same time, he was always looking to improve something about it.

the last time i saw my uncle in good spirit was about a month ago. my cousin sheryl was in town from san diego and we were all hanging out and being rambunctious in uncle's living room. he was watching us, smiling and laughing with us. i think we eventually tired him out because he excused himself and told us that he just wanted to lie down for thirty minutes but he’ll be back. i told him that i might be gone by then because i was driving back home to connecticut that night. a few minutes later, he was back, standing by the kitchen doorway and he called me over. he asked me if i still had the art book that he gave me years ago. it was a book that contained pictures of abstract paintings. he gave it to me coz he knew i was interested in them. so i told him that i still have it and i thanked him again for giving it to me and told him that i really liked it. he then said ‘before i die i will make you one of those paintings... i hugged him, thanked him, and kissed him good night.

if i knew that would be the last conversation i would have with him, i would have stayed the whole night.

but he’s at a better place now. no more rushing to the hospital. no more painful dialysis. no more chemo. no more labored breathing. i was in the room when he died. it wasn’t him lying in that hospital bed. that was his cancer. i will not remember him being sick. i will not remember him struggling to breathe. i will not remember him the way he looked that night. instead, the picture of him that i will forever keep in my heart will be of him, sitting on a motorcycle. him standing in front of a canvas. him dancing with my ninang on my wedding day. i will always remember him happy with life.

we love you uncle. i love you uncle. be at peace.

my uncle died of liver cancer. even though it's been more than ten years since he last had a sip of alcohol, it didn't matter. all the years of drinking took its toll. he was sick for a year and eventually his cancer spread and his body couldn't take any treatments available to him.

my aunt asked me to say something at his memorial. this has been the hardest thing i've ever written - and read - in my entire life. everytime i stopped to try and write something, my emotions took over and i just couldn't come up with the words. but i think i have a pretty good summary of all of the memories i have with my uncle.

when someone dies, people tell you that they are at a better place. i always thought they were full of crap. but after seeing my uncle struggle through his sickness, i can't imagine he'd be anywhere worse than where he was. so, i'm forced to believe. but i do hope that he is in a better place.



October 17, 2005

coolsome.

i'm approaching the big 3-0 but i still have a lot of growing up to do. i have a lot of lessons to learn, and i have to learn them fast. being young at heart is only cute if you're seventy-five and can still tango. as much as i'd like to be able to just drop everything and fly to wherever to hang out with friends, i can't do that anymore. i can't drop hundred of dollars on items that i don't really need. i can't stay out late and drink an obscene amount of alcohol. i have to start changing the way i act/live/behave. i can't even imagine the kind of sacrifices i have to do when i decide to have a kid *ominous music*. times are changing and i have to be able to accept the fact that i am an adult so i should start acting like one.

at 25, cia, p-ann and pajammy are more grown up than me and most of my friends. they have careers, good education, and moving towards fulfilling their dreams. they've founded organizations, starting businesses, and meeting incredible, influencial people. they are smart, beautiful, and confident. already they have passed my generation in the things they have accomplished.

i can't remember what i was doing when i was 25... all i know is that i was nowhere as cool as these three girls.



October 06, 2005

she gets excited about ramps as much as i get excited about chanterelles
this past weekend we made our trip to costco to get whatever it is you get at costco: toilet paper, papertowel, bottled water, etc... in quantities enough to supply a country the size of qatar. we wandered into the veggie section and i usually frown upon getting produce from there (unless i'm having a party or feeding a battalion) until i passed by stacks of trays that contain weird looking mushrooms that could only be one thing: chanterelles. i was so excited that i think i let out a little shriek and took a tray, put it in the cart, and then started walking away. and then i stopped. what was i thinking? a tray of chanterelles for $10 bucks? what an idiot! so i walked back to where the mushrooms are - and took another tray.

some of you won't understand why anyone would pay $10 bucks for mushroom. cia would. she gets me when it comes to food even though we've only known each other for a short time. i guess that's why when she was able to get a table at perry street, she thought of me.

so, yes, we dined at perry street and enjoyed the food and the company. we were both stressed out with work, forgot to eat our lunches, and needed a drink. she had some belgium beer (can't remember what it's called) and i had the fischer amber ale. we shared the (snapper, i think) sashimi topped with some chillies and crispy skin, seared tuna coated in rice crackers, crab dumplings topped with crisp snow peas, and black sea bass with sweet coconut broth. for dessert, we shared the best fig tart i've ever had with a side of port sorbet. afterwards, we went to theotheroom where she had some hoegaarden and i had some hefeweizen before we drove, top down (the car, you dirty, dirty, minds), out of lower west side.

i've used half of one tray of the chanterelle in a pasta dish the other day. today, i will go to her site and look up her recipe for mushroom tart so i can use the chanterelles in the best way possible.



September 30, 2005

i hurt.
i've reached a plateau with my workout. i've changed my routine a couple of times yet it didn't feel like i'm making much of a diff. to address this issue, i signed up for a couple of sessions with one of the fitness instructors at the gym here at work. today was our first session and, man, i feel like i'm dying.

this instructor is pretty notorious around here. if u want results, you sign up with him. he didn't have me lift heavy weights. he didn't even have me do strenuous moves. but man, he did a number on me that i can hear every muscle on my body screaming for mercy. i'm in pain now. i'm expecting to be in even more pain tomorrow.

but hopefully, i'll be nice and toned when he's done with me.



September 26, 2005

san francisco

click here for more pictures...

September 20, 2005

monday night football and such

had a last minute trip to the giants stadium yesterday afternoon to help with some onsite reader testing. it was pretty cool since (1) i've never been to a pro-football stadium before and (2) i've never been to a pro-football game before. it was the new orleans saints home game at the giants stadium and, despite the late notice, the giants fans didn't disappoint. they showed up in full force, taking with them their loud mouth enthusiasm.

all the pictures i took during the game wouldn't compare to any pictures taken by the pros but i thought i'd post one of the pre-game warmup, which i specially enjoyed.


one of the reasons its great living in the country...
... is you can go fruit picking every weekend if you want to. that's what lj and i did on sunday. we went for two varieties of asian pears and some red-skinned peaches. damn yummy!


... and on saturday, we witnessed meems get married twice!
melissa and sougato finally tied the knot on saturday. their families and friends gathered in westchester, ny to be witnesses to their hindu/christian wedding. we had such a great time hanging out with old friends, some i haven't seen in 8+ years!

to meemstah and sougato, congratulations! you're marriage is a testament to dreams coming true!





September 15, 2005

pour me a glass of something hard, coz i'm about to rant.
don't worry, i haven't been violent in awhile.

my background is in project management and in my previous post i specialized in quality assurance. nevertheless, whatever industry or product you talk about, process is involved, and the concept of project management is the same: there's a project, and you better manage it, and manage it well, to meet the requirements of the said project, and to deliver it, according to specifications, on schedule.

how hard is that to understand?

i'm too heated to continue that i'm getting a migraine... let me breathe, and maybe i'll get back to this later



September 14, 2005

dinner





after talking to ej about food we like, i thought, i'm going to make me something that i like and, tada! the best porkchop i've ever made served with broccoli and cheddar rice and corona to wash it down with.

it doesn't look much, specially with the fancy paper and plastic china i ate it with, but it sure as hell tasted great!





just because you're loud, doesn't mean you're right
and just because everyone seems to agree with you, doesn't mean they do. just that some of us are not born with balls to tell you you're so full of yourself. and the rest of us, well, we just get exhausted arguing with you. we just want you to shut up so that we can move on with our lives, peacefully.

you're nothing but noise we all don't want to hear.






*shakes head* read this and this.