November 09, 2005

ernesto avila
July 26 1938 - November 6, 2005

he was ‘darling’ to ninang zeny.
‘Pa’ or ‘Stu’ to kuya erwin.
‘kuya ernie’ to most of you.
but to me and my siblings, he is uncle ernie. or just plain ‘uncle’.

some of my childhood memories that include uncle i share with my siblings. i remember how he used to load all three of us on his tiny motorcycle. rodel would be sitting on the gas tank in front, while madonna sat behind uncle, holding on to his round belly, and i would be sitting at the edge of the seat, holding on to dear life. and then we would drive through traffic in makati. as if the motorcycle ride wasn’t a treat in itself, sometimes we would stop by an ice cream parlor and he would buy us each a cone. i think we eventually out grew the thrill of riding on uncle’s bike. but those days were definitely good times.

almost seven years ago during my surprise graduation party i remember how he told me how proud he was of me because i worked two jobs to put myself through college. he said ‘yang mga bata na yan, talagang magagaling!’. he was referring to me and my brother and sister. he always had kind words for us. he always made me smile because he says mukha daw kaming artista. even on our bad days he would tell us how good we looked. maybe that’s why he’s one of our favorite uncles.

i have always shared his passion for art. whenever i was in queens and he had a new painting, he would show it to me and i was left in awe because each painting seemed so personal to him. he was proud of his work but at the same time, he was always looking to improve something about it.

the last time i saw my uncle in good spirit was about a month ago. my cousin sheryl was in town from san diego and we were all hanging out and being rambunctious in uncle's living room. he was watching us, smiling and laughing with us. i think we eventually tired him out because he excused himself and told us that he just wanted to lie down for thirty minutes but he’ll be back. i told him that i might be gone by then because i was driving back home to connecticut that night. a few minutes later, he was back, standing by the kitchen doorway and he called me over. he asked me if i still had the art book that he gave me years ago. it was a book that contained pictures of abstract paintings. he gave it to me coz he knew i was interested in them. so i told him that i still have it and i thanked him again for giving it to me and told him that i really liked it. he then said ‘before i die i will make you one of those paintings... i hugged him, thanked him, and kissed him good night.

if i knew that would be the last conversation i would have with him, i would have stayed the whole night.

but he’s at a better place now. no more rushing to the hospital. no more painful dialysis. no more chemo. no more labored breathing. i was in the room when he died. it wasn’t him lying in that hospital bed. that was his cancer. i will not remember him being sick. i will not remember him struggling to breathe. i will not remember him the way he looked that night. instead, the picture of him that i will forever keep in my heart will be of him, sitting on a motorcycle. him standing in front of a canvas. him dancing with my ninang on my wedding day. i will always remember him happy with life.

we love you uncle. i love you uncle. be at peace.

my uncle died of liver cancer. even though it's been more than ten years since he last had a sip of alcohol, it didn't matter. all the years of drinking took its toll. he was sick for a year and eventually his cancer spread and his body couldn't take any treatments available to him.

my aunt asked me to say something at his memorial. this has been the hardest thing i've ever written - and read - in my entire life. everytime i stopped to try and write something, my emotions took over and i just couldn't come up with the words. but i think i have a pretty good summary of all of the memories i have with my uncle.

when someone dies, people tell you that they are at a better place. i always thought they were full of crap. but after seeing my uncle struggle through his sickness, i can't imagine he'd be anywhere worse than where he was. so, i'm forced to believe. but i do hope that he is in a better place.

Comments:

I'm so sorry to hear about your uncle. I remember we talked about him and my grandmother being in the hospital around the same time. It was his time for him to go, but knowing that you have good memories of him means that he will live on. Our condolences to you all in your family.

# posted by  Patricia : November 10, 2005 1:10 PM

 

I'm so sorry. I never know what to say when it comes to these things, but I am really sorry you had to go through this. Blessings on you and your family and your uncle in heaven.

# posted by  Melissa : November 10, 2005 3:17 PM

 

i'm sorry to hear about your uncle. the tribute your wrote was very sweet and poignant and i'm sure he knew exactly how much you loved him. i hope you and your family find peace. our thoughts and prayers are with you.

# posted by  kat : November 10, 2005 5:01 PM

 

I'm sorry for you and your families loss. He is in a better place, a place where pain does not exist. My condolences to you and your family, he will be in my prayers...

# posted by  Leensworld : November 10, 2005 9:51 PM

 

Sorry to hear that, my condolences to the whole family and you're right coz now he's in better state- no more pains but glory in God's loving hands.

# posted by  marie : November 11, 2005 10:36 AM

 

My condolences to you and your family...thanks for sharing the tribute, it was lovely to read and even though I don't know him, I can tell there's is alot of love for the guy. x

# posted by  Anonymous : November 11, 2005 5:53 PM

 

I'm sorry to about your uncle's passing, he sounded like a wonderful man. And I guess artistic talent is hereditary. Much prayers for your family and please let me know if I can help you in any way.

# posted by  Riss : November 11, 2005 9:02 PM

 

My sympathies to you and your family. I hope you find comfort for your loss.

# posted by  Jet : November 14, 2005 4:50 PM

 

"God gave us memories so we can have roses in winter."

My condolences, G. *hugs*

# posted by  Toni : November 22, 2005 6:32 AM

 

Cosa dire di più su ernesto avila ? Credo che hai reso bene l'idea! Ti potrebbe interessare un sito su scommesse calcio ? Facci un salto e vedi se trovi qualcosa di interessante! Troverai solamente scommesse calcio .

# posted by  Anonymous : December 01, 2005 2:31 PM

 

Cosa dire di più su ernesto avila ? Credo che hai reso bene l'idea! Ti potrebbe interessare un sito su scommesse calcio ? Facci un salto e vedi se trovi qualcosa di interessante! Troverai solamente scommesse calcio .

# posted by  Anonymous : December 02, 2005 6:45 PM

 

My sympathies are with you g. Your memorial speech really touched me. What a wonderful man.

# posted by  tintin : December 20, 2005 6:16 PM

 

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