January 27, 2004

Jealous people are ugly.
I was sitting at my cube and this message popped up:

'Can you come in for a sec?'.

It's an instant message from my boss.
I'm used to getting these messages from her.

'Sure.'

Usually messages like this require me taking down notes. So I grabbed my pencil and my notepad and off I went to her office. We exchanged pleasantries. I asked her about the fam. She asked me how I'm doing. She told me about a holistic approach I can try to ease this pain in my stomach. We talked and talked for a good 10 minutes.

And then she sat back.

'I hate to do this. I personally don't have a problem with it, and I don't think I've ever noticed it before.'

Uh oh, I thought.

'...but I have to tell you since someone said something about it...'

More uh oh. My mind is scrambling. What the hell did I do? I can't figure it out.

'...It's the length of your skirt...'

What? I must have had a stupid look on my face at this time. I couldn't comprehend what she just said.

'...someone said it's a bit short...'

I look at what I'm wearing. Black pants, black sweater, black boots. She noticed that I'm confused.

'...well, not now, but I guess some of your skirts are a bit too short. Again, I don't care but I had to mention it to you since it was brought to my attention.'

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I felt like I did back in high school sitting in the principal's office because of a stupid prank I pulled on another student.

I could tell my boss was uncomfortable discussing this with me. I didn't say a word and she just went on talking. Not pausing. Not once.

So I smiled. I think she was relieved that I smiled. She let out a sigh like a heavy load was lifted off her shoulder.

'Ok.' I said. But what did I mean?

Did I mean, 'Ok - who's the jealous bitch?' or did 'I mean, Ok - should I dress like all the fuckin' losers around me?' or did I mean, 'Ok - it's ok, boss... really it is.' Was I trying to convince her, or me?

And then we proceeded to talk business.

I like my boss. And I think she genuinely care about me, my well being, and what happens to me in the company. I know it's way early to tell, but she's really a good person. And I believe her when she said she didn't care. And that's all that matters.

Now I'm on this quest to find out who said something. So far everyone I spoke to were horrified of the story I've told. They all called this person a 'fuckin' coward'. No paraphrasing there. They all described the person as 'probably someone who's ugly, and fat, (and stupid) and would never, ever, EVER look good in any of the clothes you wear. Or any of the clothes THEY wear'.

Call me conceited but I've always thought that my coworkers love the way I dress at work. I mean EVERYONE. I get compliments from men and women I work with all the time. I don't think I own anything scandalous. I wear suits when I have meetings, and business casual when I don't. Although we never go, women make shopping dates with me. One director asked me to give her a complete wardrobe make-over. VPs ask me where I shop. I wear one outfit one day, give it a week and you'll see a couple more women wearing the same exact style, sometimes the same exact thing.

You can say that there are some jealous people around me. There's no question about that. And I'm not full of it either. To me, this person is someone who's out to get me into trouble. And I have a very, very good idea who it is.

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