December 14, 2003


Just like wine - the older the better

Happy birthday to Audrey - the epitome of the saying 'the older you get, the wiser you become'. Hope you enjoy your day, Aud!

And a reminder - go for the son! *mwah*


One more odd thing...
Was just reading Trish's blog entry of the day and she mentioned something about people still afraid of flying and the thoughts that run through people's minds prior to boarding their planes. She said that she doesn't think 'I could die today' when she gets to the airport. Meantime, here I am waking up in the morning thinking 'I could die today'. Call it morbid coz in fact it is. I've made it a point to keep that in mind so that I can atleast enjoy my life and be able to take chances and risks thinking its going to be the last. More on this later.

I could die today... (continuation)

It is quite odd to wake up in the morning with the thoughts 'I could die today'. But that's the exact thoughts I wake up with for the past few weeks now. 'I could die today'. Suddenly, I'm able to appreciate things a lot more prior to having this epiphany. This realization that everything could end just like that. No preparation. No choices. No what-ifs. No buts whatsoever.

Suddenly I see things differently. I enjoy different aspects of life more than I have before. I cherish every experience. Value every new acquaintance and treasure every relationship with people I care about. Gray days become colorful. The rain becomes refreshing. And the nights are just an opening to another beautiful morning. Life is sweeter than ever.

I've also become more selfish. It sounds rather self serving but there are quite a few times where I've put myself before others without any care whatsoever. I'm able to tune out everybody else to listen to my own thoughts and decide on my own accord. Everybody matters yet they dont.

Its a confusing state, not having any care whatsoever. When the only thing that matters is living life as it should be lived - one day at a time. At night when I lay in bed before falling into deep slumber I think of all the things I did that day, all the events, all the people I interacted with, I start to wonder 'did I do everything I wanted to do, say everything I wanted to say?'. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if I did do everything and say everything - the answer has to be yes. Coz who knows if i'll ever wake up?

If I don’t wake up tomorrow, would you care?
Would you weep in my absence?
Would you tell me sweet things?
Would you bring me flowers?
Would you miss me by your side?

If I don’t wake up tomorrow, would the sun still shine?
Would the rain still fall?
Would the flowers still bloom?
Would the grass still grow?
Would your world still turn?

If I don’t wake up tomorrow, would I be in your thoughts?
Would you think of the times your affection I sought?
Would you wish you told me how much you cared?
And wish that for me you have really been there?

If I don’t wake up tomorrow, don’t tell me you love me, I cannot hear.
Don’t give me the flowers, I cannot smell.
Don’t shed me a tear, I cannot appreciate
Don’t wish you could touch me, I cannot feel.

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