October 24, 2002


Yes - that is me

Tata is my pen name =).

Below is one of my faves:

The Gauge
What do you measure your life against?
The money you’ve lost and spent and gained only to lose again?
The friends you have and the enemies you’ve made?
The plaques hanging on your wall proof of all the time you spent not having fun?
The title hanging on your door which is supposed to command respect from your fellow instead of the laughter and the mockery they exchange behind your back?

When the sun rises and then sets in the horizon, do you count that as a day in your life?
When the stars shine while the moon’s up high do you proceed to slumber so to start a new day?

Do you measure your life based on the times you fell in love?
Or the number of times your heart was broken in so many different ways and in so many different pieces?
The teardrops you cried?
The times you smiled?
The laughter you’ve shared with that someone special?
The screaming fight you’ve had with your friends, parents, loved ones, self?


How often do you say, I’ve lived my life to the fullest, now I can die?
When was the last time you felt fulfilled?
When did you ever feel like you’ve had all you’ve ever wanted and needed and desired only to want, need and desire something else?

I am tired.
I am exhausted.
I can never figure out why I’m happy when I am when I know just around the corner disappointment is lurking around.
I want to know how much of my life I have lived and how much more there is to come so that I can prepare for what is to come.
I don’t see an end to my frustration.
I can’t hear the answer to my questions.
I can’t feel the fulfillment I’m supposed to feel with all the so-called achievements I’ve gained in all the so-called years of my life.
I’m tired of wiping my face with tears either caused by sadness or joy.
I’m tired of putting on a face just so people will feel better about themselves or about myself.
Just tell me how much more of this do I have to endure?

-tata-

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